february 3rd

ive been reading some adorno again. not in what im reading but what he has said is there is tenderness only in the coarsest demand: that no-one shall go hungry any more. simone weil's birthday is today. i think she would agree with this or some variation of it or maybe choose to say that tenderness doesnt apply to her and that's why she starved herself. i like to think that tenderness applies to me, i like to think tenderness should apply to me.

february 5th

i think about the experience of things that have had much less and a much different experience than myself a lot.

february 16th

i think about univocity a lot. i think about thinking a lot. and how i cant remember when i think if it is in words or in images or pure? concept or some combination or if it even matters. i dont think it matters. if it did i wouldnt be able to do anything about it. im committed to myself. if i could get at the root and write down exactly what i feel and see and think and experience and write it all down into a perfect language capable of being understood by everyone. each word leading into a perfect image and on and on leaving nothing behind. i remember seeing videos of deer covered in mud. i saw them in some season that wasnt spring.